I sit back in my chair and watch as my 8 year old twins, Seth and Ethan, run their hands over every gift under the Christmas tree. Using their wild imaginations they predict what’s inside each gift. Their sheer excitement and laughter repels a chain reaction that makes me giggle. I can’t help but to feel like the luckiest mom in the world. I sit and remember a time when I thought it was foolish to even dream of having a moment like this with my boys.

Rich and I were married 6 years before we had Seth and Ethan.  We were happy, but we always longed for something more, a family of our own.  When the doctor announced that we were having twins, I couldn't stop myself from tearing up with joy. I always wanted a child, but two was perfect, just like my twins would be. I was due in February and like most first time mothers, I felt 9 months wasn't long enough for all the planning I needed to do. The mere stress of doctor’s visits, baby showers, picking out names, decorating their room and buying baby supplies as if I was going to have an army of children, it consumed my world...until the day my world came crashing down around me.

I often fantasized about the day I would meet my boys, the pain I would go through would all melt away when the nurses would lay both boys wrapped in baby blue blankets in my arms. It was October 4th, 21 1/2 weeks into my pregnancy and even though it was my first pregnancy, I knew something was very wrong.  Doubled over in pain, confused and scared Rich rushed me to the doctor.  It was there we discovered I was in labor 4 months before my expected due date.  The doctor checked me into the hospital, put me on bed rest and medication to stop the labor process, but on October 14th, Seth and Ethan were born both weighing just one pound. Rich and I spent the next 5 months pacing hospital hallways and praying to God they’d make it through another night. Each of us sat on one side of a glass box and we literally watched our little boys grow in an incubator.  They were days old with tons of tubes and permanent scars from all the surgeries they had already endured. I was their mother, I should have been able to cradle them in my arms, loving them and making them feel safe. I wanted so badly to take the pain away that I would have suffered for both of them, yet all I could do was watch through this glass and pray for a miracle.


Even with all the struggles and frightening calls in the middle of the night, our biggest blow and challenge was yet to come. We remember the devastating news like it was yesterday. It was a frigid February day in Michigan where we traveled to see a specialist for yet another unimaginable surgery. Afterwards, we spoke to the doctor to learn life would forever change, life was going to be nothing we expected, nothing we had been taught.  In a private room, the doctor sat us down and tried to tell us in the best possible way, the boys were going to be blind. We just sat there in disbelief. The doctor continued to talk, but we could not understand any other words he was saying. The thought of our boys not being able to see was so painful. We spent the next couple of days sobbing in the hotel room talking to no one. We had no idea what to do or what this meant for our family.  Overwhelmed with fear and uncertainty, we wondered if we were strong enough to handle this.  I remember driving back to the hospital the next day. Exhausted, numb and still crying I found the strength to tell Rich this was just our next step… we were chosen to be their parents for a reason.  We can do this!  Blindness is a small price to pay considering all they had been through and we never imagined after being born so small they would have ever survived.  We were blessed.

We have learned over the years that no matter how much we plan for life, we can never plan for the unexpected. I once heard a phrase "seeing is believing" but if you’re ever blessed with the opportunity to meet our now 8 year old, blind, twin boys you will understand me when I say believing is not what you see but how you’re inspired.

Seth and Ethan live their lives in darkness, yet they have the ability to bring light brighter than the sun into my life, and into the lives of everyone they meet. As a mother I struggle at times with the thought that they may never see what most people take for granted. That very thought is always erased when I realize they are so much more than what meets the eyes. They are strong and brilliant, passionate and alive. They are my inspiration for life and one day I hope to give back all that they have given to me. By donating money to The Ethan and Seth Future of Vision Foundation you will be apart of the inspiration to give these boys and others the light that they have given us every day.